Ask Joe

Question: I’ve read some of the people’s questions and your answers, and I’d like to ask why do you do it? Because it’s interesting to me. Would we find a teacher career among these 30 jobs? Do you like being asked or is it a kind of vocation? And what are the liberal arts? We don’t have such thing in my country…

Answer: For an in depth answer about what Liberal Arts is, you can go to Wikipedia: Liberal Arts

The important thing to keep in mind is that the Liberal Arts curriculum seeks to create “well-rounded” individuals who have fulfilled breadth requirements in areas outside of what may be their ultimate career path: Life Sciences, Physical Sciences, Humanities, Electives. The idea is that having such a background makes you a more productive member of society and capable of seeing the “big picture” where positive social evolution and technological progress resides. Furthermore, the Liberal Arts process requires an ongoing scrutiny and analysis of source material. This type of critical thinking is an essential skill as scholars, writers, teachers and others, go on to produce works of their own, which further clarify the subject matter they are researching. It has been shocking for me to see how much “news” and written material is passed around in modern times as fact. It is even more shocking to see how so many people accept that material at face value, without questioning it’s veracity or the reliability of its authorship. This has been especially true during the presidential election process and in urban myth emails, news punditry and various publications.

Historically, whether it be in the age of the founding fathers of the United States of America or during the emergence of the university system throughout Europe or even back in ancient Greece, it was deemed necessary for the good of society that educated individuals have as broad a range of knowledge as possible. You will see that educated individuals throughout history, who have been classically educated in the Liberal Arts or who have sought to self-educate in this manner of broad-based knowledge, tend to branch out into many different occupations throughout their lives. For instance Benjamin Franklin, by trade, was a printer, but he was also an author and scientist, with contributing theories about physics and electricity. He was a diplomat. He developed the first fire department and free library in the state of Pennsylvania, while also contributing his political theories towards the development of American society. Another such renaissance man is Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States. Thomas Jefferson also dabbled in several different areas including: philosophy, horticulture, architecture, archaeology, writing and inventing. Both men founded schools.

It is my feeling that America has slowly turned away from this type of education and as a result, our populace is suffering from a severe lack of awareness and historical perspective about events going on around the world, how basic scientific processes work — From natural selection to global warming, how the American government and political system actually works and how to competently determine who is qualified to run the country. Furthermore, many inventions and discoveries such as plate tectonics (discovered by a meteorologist) and photographs (discovered by a painter, who apprenticed in architecture) are made because individuals are cross-disciplined in multiple subjects. Focused education in one job skill makes for a good worker, but without a standard background education or at least continuing lifetime interest in the arts, sciences, government, history, literature and other humanities, citizens become more susceptible to prejudices, false theories, hysterias such as the “Red Scare” and “terrorism” and the dangerous erosion of basic Constitutional tenets. Wives tales, urban myths and government propaganda fills the void of knowledge that a liberal arts education would normally occupy.

Though it’s more difficult nowadays to find work with a Liberal Arts degree, rather than a degree limited to one specialty, I do not regret being educated in this way. Having a comprehensive understanding of the interrelatedness of things in our existence is satisfying for me. To address your question about teaching, I do think these job experiences combined with my Liberal Arts degree, would make me a good teacher. I am not interested in being a school teacher, per se, but I am interested in teaching through conversations, writings, lecturing and business development.

To answer your other questions: I started “Ask Joe” as a joke because so many people already ask me questions about things, that I thought I should pretend to be an online professional answering questions for everybody. The other satirical point I am making is that since I cannot find a good job with all of this education and experience, I might as well make myself useful answering people’s questions. I enjoy doing it as it’s a creative outlet for me and keeps me practiced in writing.

In Poland:

• The Polonia Institute in Krakow is a Liberal Arts school
• The Jagiellonian University in Krakow is also a Liberal Arts school.

Submitted by: Gressart Poland

Question: So Joe, how am I supposed to take this video you made with clips of me in it?

Answer: After a few moments of nostalgic reflection, which touched on magical trips abroad, various black tie occasions, enchanted dinners with friends and many other glorious times in my liberal arts world, the perfect answer to your question came to me: take it with a mouth-watering filet mignon with truffled mushroom ragout…That and crab canapes with a gorgeous orange-ginger sauce and mint leaf garnish. Wine Spectator Magazine suggests the VIÑA SANTA RITA Cabernet Sauvignon Maipo Valley Medalla Real Special Reserve 2005 as a heavenly, almost musical accompaniment to your choice filet and the music video in which you’re featured.

Along with this whole savory experience, take my video in the highest level of praise for which it was intended and as a foreshadowing of your illustrious future as a chef de cuisine and one day even a celebrity chef to rival Gordon Ramsay, himself!

Submitted by: Christian chicago, il

Question: Why is it that all cool cities have bad weather (look at Chicago), and why does good weather seem to create places that suck (Miami comes to mind)?

Answer: Eva, your question combines many different academic disciplines including: psychology, geography, human ecology, meteorology, sociology, anthropology, urban planning and economics. No doubt you searched the internet exhaustively before you had the great fortune to arrive at Ask Joe. With his Liberal Arts degree and vast experience accumulated from working over 30 jobs, only he has the ability draw from this combination of fields and give you the clarity that your earnest inquiry cries out for.

First of all, let us define “cool” as: possessing great merit in human innovation, social and cultural achievement, quality of life, number of bars with significant drink specials and the low probability of dying an unnatural death.

Let us define “suck” as: lacking in all of the above

To attain “cool” a city must be A) well-positioned in notable natural surroundings, B) it must be the beneficiary of significant and continual investment in its physical infrastructure and C) must sufficiently attract and incubate the aspirations of the most talented and industrious members of our society to comprise their PERMANENT local population.

You intelligently identified in your question the inverse relationship between WEATHER and the sophistication of cities.

Now let’s turn to the dilemma of the human animal. Humans, like all living organisms, desire to fulfill their needs by expending the least amount of energy possible. Not trudging through piles of snow, breaking limbs on glaze ice, enduring days of depression under cloud cover that is a mile thick and piling on layers of clothing to go outside is not the most efficient use of our limited energy resources. Therefore, cities located in warm climates will attract those members of our society not willing to expend a great deal of energy to get what they want or need.

As well, humans, like all living organisms, are continuously seeking sexual interaction, as dictated by the reptilian brain (or brain stem). This activity is optimized when the least amount of energy is expended to obtain it. Hence, warm cities with miles of beaches, scantily dressed people and frequent outdoor social interaction facilitate human mating rituals and allow the least sophisticated members of our society to achieve sexual interaction, with the least amount of effort possible.

If you revisit our definition of the “cool” city, it should be easy to see that cities with good weather, (like Miami) attract the least industrious, least sophisticated, least talented members of our society as part of their PERMANENT society. Yes, talented, industrious people VISIT Miami and have vacation homes in Miami, but they are transient and not invested in the infrastructure or cultural and social improvement of Miami as a city. The people who remain there permanently are overcome by heat and adopt a laissez-faire lifestyle, which limits their range of activities to service industry jobs for tourists or attempts to finish lingering yard upkeep projects around their homes.

Conversely, if you take Minneapolis or Seattle, or Chicago or Boulder or New York, you have a permanent local population in those cities who are committed and willing to expend energy resisting the undesirable weather conditions and the increased complexity of obtaining sexual interaction bundled in physique-disguising clothes and layers of insulating fat, so that they might actualize their talents and industriousness in opposition to our animalistic predisposition to conserve energy. These cities and many others like them: Toronto, Hamburg, Moscow, Copenhagen, Oslo, Paris, London, Tokyo and Madison usually exist on a river, lake or ocean, nestled in hills, fjords or fertile agricultural regions and have fantastic drink specials, while also being a magnet for the most talented and industrious individuals in our society.

Why?

Because these individuals possess both the fortitude to endure harsh climates and the ability to transcend the easily-attainable vices present in warmer climates (sex, entertainment, beach laziness, etc.) they are more able to perform the above-average talents that tend to remain latent in those preferring to conserve energy. These talents may include: writing and performing music, stage performance, preparing cuisine, creating visual art, setting up facilities for advanced education, designing surpassing works of architecture and urban design, collaborating on civic projects such as museums or parks and conceptualizing outdoor events for the rare moments when weather permits outdoor social interaction.

The results of their industriousness and talent then generates a buzz, which compels large conglomerates to open corporate divisions in those cities. The bored wealthy also relocate to these places to see what all the hubbub is about and to infiltrate elite society while it’s still in an embryonic state. The end result is substantial tax and philanthropic infusion into the city’s infrastructure and a potpourri of artisanship, talent and industry which all perpetuate a city’s “coolness.”

Submitted by: Eva Denver, CO

Question: What day of the week is the most traveled airline day and why?

Answer: Kaitlynne, the most traveled airline day of the week is the day of the week that most airline travel happens. Why? Because that is the day the most people are traveling on airlines.

So it appears that Friday and Sunday are the busiest days for airline travel. The reason for this is that people are most likely starting their business or vacation travel after their jobs end for the week on Friday and then they’re coming back from their trips on Sunday before their jobs begin on Monday. This makes sense, because I found another statistic showing that even though Fridays and Sundays are the busiest days for air travel, if you fly on Friday morning, before people leave work for the day or Sunday night, when it’s too late for people who return to work on Monday morning to fly, those times are not as busy as the rest of the day.

Submitted by Kaitlynne: DeForest, WI

Question: So yesterday at work, I had a client in my chair, and he is a minister. So he asked me if he could ask me a “truthful and honest question”. So I said sure. He knows of my sexuality, and then he asked “Are you truly happy”? I said yes, and then he wanted to know if I knew the bible. I said “Yes” and he said of course I know you know the bible. Then he said, that I would have to change my ways or else we both knew what would happen.

Joe, how do I handle something like that? I think that it was rude on his behalf, as I just stood there and took it, because I didn’t know what and how to respond. How do you ever handle people like this?

Answer: It’s interesting how this type of rude and presumptuous questioning just rolls off the tongues of these people who claim they’re doing “God’s work” but in reality are using religion as a form of harassment. I would assume that this same “minister” would not ask a female stylist about the sinfulness of the premarital sex she engages in or any other straight person about the sinfulness of their divorce, yet it’s still somehow acceptable for them to pry into gay people’s lives and condemn their lifestyles.

My first reaction, had he said that while I was holding clippers, would have been to start him on the road to enlightenment through a shaved head–just like the Dalai Lama.

How you reacted is completely natural and probably how 90% of people would react. What do you say to someone who not only has the nerve to condemn you to your face, but then presumes to know your fate? Obviously they are not rational beings and that precludes having any kind of reasoned, philosophical debate over the matter. If he was simply questioning your sexual orientation and wanting to learn how you feel about it, that would be one thing. Then, you could discuss things like whether or not you feel the Bible is a reliable tool to determine one’s eternal demise, or whether or not God’s final judgment of your life is entirely weighted on the fact that you sleep with men. With a polite person who simply disagrees with you ideologically about the sinfulness of homosexuality, you could have a wonderful discussion about spiritual love transcending gender or the historic social pressures on humans to procreate in order to populate cities and armies thus resulting in the political and religious condemnation of all non-procreating sex acts, as it was molded into public policy.

This “minister” was not attempting to engage you in a meaningful dialog, however. He was relying on the assumption that you’ve been socialized into the same interpretation of scripture that he has been and that most of western society has been: “Do you know the Bible?” This is all he has to say to compel an instant reaction in you that you should feel shame for who you are and that you should be afraid of the terrible consequences that await you for your homosexuality. He is not going to entertain any discussions which critically analyze the legitimacy of the context or authorship of the Bible. He has no genuine, heartfelt concern for the preservation of your soul. He is a bully, using the Bible to intimidate you, to threaten you and to make himself feel superior over you. As such, this would be a good time to remind you that many people who pursue counseling and religious vocations have many, many unresolved personal issues of their own–Among them, the questioning of their own sexuality. I would wager that a long time ago, he made the conscious decision to subvert his own homosexual feelings by adopting a religious lifestyle. In doing this, he denies himself every day the happiness you reaffirmed to him that you feel in your homosexual lifestyle. The acknowledgment to himself that a fulfilling life can be had as an out homosexual is too much for him to bear now that he’s invested so many years in the choice he made to deny himself. Rather than consider that alternatives did exist for him, he would rather evangelize his repression on those who are happily living the life he refuses to allow for himself. Like all bullies, he is a coward, he is unhappy and he is using the Bible to make people feel as bad as he feels. There are plenty of priests and ministers who address homosexuality with compassion and understanding, even if they disagree with it. The fact that he keeps coming to you to touch his head and stand close to him says to me our minister has got himself a little crush.

So what could you say to him?

I would say, “Do you know that questions like that are hurtful and offensive?” Or I might ask him if he was inviting me to join his congregation or just passing judgment on me. These are both questions that correct his thoughtless tone. You do not want to get mired in a tiresome and circular argument with people like him. Still, you don’t have to stand there and take his abuse either. If he brings it up again I’d say, “Do I cut and color hair in your church? Then don’t preach in my salon. If I want spiritual guidance I know where to find you.” I know you don’t want to be confrontational, but that is exactly what he is doing to you. Cloaking hostility and passive-aggressiveness in Biblical overtones does not minimize the confrontational nature of his verbal ambush. You might even disarm him immediately upon his next visit with humor, “Well hello there! Are we going to talk about damnation again or can we talk about…(fill in the blank).”

Good luck!

Submitted by: Eric (New London, WI)

Question: How come when we breath the air goes in our lungs and when we eat the food goes down our stomach when they both go into our throat?

Answer: Braedon, the back of your mouth and throat are full of very complex tissues that carry out many functions without you having to think about them. The most important functions are taking in air to the lungs through your nose and mouth and taking in food to the stomach through your mouth. The passages and cavities that do this are located behind the nose and mouth and are known as the pharynx. Once air, food and drink enter your head through the nose (nasopharynx) and mouth (oropharynx), it all ends up in the back of your throat (laryngopharynx). These passageways for food, drink and air are all connected, which is why we can breath with our nose plugged and why food and drink can sometimes come out of the nose if we cough while we’re eating.

Once the food and air reach the back of the throat (laryngopharynx), they have to be sent down the right tubes: air goes into the trachea, which leads to the lungs and food goes into the esophagus, which brings it to the stomach. But how does it do this, without mixing it all up?

The answer is the EPIGLOTTIS. The epiglottis is a fold of cartilage, which is a connective tissue that also connects various bones in your body together. This cartilage is lined with mucous membranes, like what lines the inside of you mouth. The epiglottis is right behind your tongue and it covers the opening of your trachea, where air would normally go. The food you swallow goes past your tongue, over the epiglottis and dumps into your esophagus which sits right behind the trachea. You’ll notice that as you’re swallowing, you are temporarily holding your breath. That is because the trachea is being closed by the epiglottis. After you have swallowed and the food has safely gone down the esophagus to your stomach, the hyoid bone in your throat is lowered and your epiglottis raises up off of the opening of the trachea so you can breathe again. The hyoid bone is interesting because it is the only bone in your body which is not connected to any other bone.

The epiglottis is part of the larynx which is also your voice box. When you breathe in air, the epiglottis remains open. Air passes into the glottis, which is the opening to your trachea. Your vocal cords lie on both sides of the glottis. When you speak, yell, scream, hum and sing, air passes out of your trachea, which you can then make your vocal cords vibrate into sound (your voice). Your mouth completes the sound you make by forming this vibrated air into words using your mouth and lips.

So, when the epiglottis closes over the glottis, food and liquid cannot enter your trachea. When the epiglottis lifts up off of the glottis, air can enter or exit as you breathe, speak and sing.

Sometimes the epiglottis does not work properly and air can enter the esophagus, which then has to be burped back out. Also, food and water can enter the trachea if the epiglottis does not close properly, which can cause you to choke. If you get sick and have to throw up or if you gag, the epiglottis will also close to prevent vomit or saliva from entering the trachea.

Submitted by: Braedon (Rockford, IL)

Who should I vote for in November, assuming I have a choice?

Answer: Oh no, my first American Idol question. I really try not to levy my influence in such important matters of American pop culture. Also, I never watch tripe like American Idol and its ilk.

Milo, I’m not sure that season 7 even goes until November. You might want to check the dates. Of the men, I would have to say that Michael Johns and Jason Castro are the cutest. I haven’t a clue whether they can sing for a damn. Sayesha Mercado is just a nanometer away from plummeting into a Macy Gray rat’s nest hair do. For that I would disqualify her. (Who wants to buy a CD with hair all over the cover and a little tiny face peeking out at you?)

That just leaves Michael and Jason, so I would say Michael, since he’s pushing 30 and Jason has a whole decade to become somebody. We all know life ends at 30.

You know, all of this voting talk reminds me of the presidential election. Since none of the candidates can sing, I guess I would just vote them all off.

Submitted by: Milo (Spain? Madison, WI?)

My girlfriend is in a coma. Is it serious?

Answer: Your question reminded me of another friend of mine with the same situation. He wrote about it in this touching/disturbing song:

But let me also ask you this: There were times when you “could have murdered her.”

You may be in luck because as we’ve all heard…It’s serious.

Submitted by: Troy (Madison, WI)

Haven’t you had more than 30 jobs?

Answer: Your question brings up an interesting distinction. Technically, I have had more than 30 jobs if you include the subset of assignments I’ve worked under the temp job category.

On the bright side, most temp agencies pay weekly, which spares you the hell of being enslaved by Check-N-Go.

Submitted by: Bradley (Chicago, IL)

Why do cell phone companies have the strangest charges, like taxes and surcharges?

Answer: Cell phone companies, like many large industries in the U.S. are virtual monopolies due to the tiny handful of “competitors” sharing telecommunication infrastructure (towers, satellites, bandwith, etc.). When the government fails to regulate these behemoths with the true interests of the general public in mind, we all get screwed. Last month, the FCC auctioned off an enormous chunk of bandwidth, which was won by the monopoly to beat all monopolies–AT & T. (Could have something to do with their sleazy cooperation with the Bush Administration to secretly allow government spying on their customer’s phone calls). At any rate, the FCC could have easily put conditions on the bandwidth they allow cell phone companies to buy, like controlling fees, forbidding automatic contract renewals and other shady, anti-customer practices. But the government isn’t looking out for you, they’re looking out for the telecommunications lobby.

One charge you no longer see on your bill is the Federal Excise Tax. 86′d in August of 2006, this tax actually dates back to the 1800s, where it was instated to fund the Spanish-American War. Due to a continued outcry, the Federal Government stopped collecting it. See what outcrying can do?

Go here for an explanation of each item on your cell phone bill: Cell Phone Taxes/Charges

Submitted by: Bradley (Chicago, IL)